This psalm doesn’t seem to go anywhere. He begins by crying out to God but seems to just stay here, in his cries. He seems to stay in his sorrow and emotion. What do we do with this? When we read something like this, we want it to go somewhere. We want a resolution.
But here, the Bible gives us a picture of a psalmist who is mourning and in pain, and just stays there. It is ok. It could be hard for us because we may want to know what to do. But this study is teaching us how we can mourn and seek God out in a way that honours Him and is good, even in our sorrow.
This psalm that we’re reading here presents something very close to a Christian’s experience of depression — but through the language of knowing God and feeling abandoned by Him and others. We have no hope when we’re depressed — just despair. But the Christian does not process it the way non-Christians do. Now, we are not saying don’t seek professional medical help. There is much about physiology and psychology that we still don’t know.
What we are saying however, is that as Christians, how we process and internalise and work through our emotional highs and lows is, or should be, fundamentally different. The worldview through which we understand joy and suffering, through which we understand happiness and depression — the Christian worldview is fundamentally different.
This is such a tricky topic to tackle, but our goal is to read the Bible, and know God through it, and to obey Him as He reveals His desire for us in His word.
(A) Crushed and Alone: No soundness, no health, no power, no peace, no hope, no strength, no light, no friends, no kin, no agency, no drive (Ps 38:1-14)
The psalmist cries out to God. He appeals to God to lift up his burdens and the wrath that is set against him (Ps 38:1-2). He seems to be asking God for mercy, though he knows that he deserves it. He wishes to be spared from God’s wrath and God’s piercing, heavy-handed punishment (Ps 38:1-2).
This imagery and suffering that he is feeling might be strange to us. It seems to be caused by God’s wrath and anger that has been kindled towards him. What is the reason and how are we to understand it? It is because of sin. He understands that suffering doesn’t happen randomly, but can arise because of our sin and God acting against our sin. He admits his sin.
This looks odd at first glance, doesn’t it? It sounds a bit like we are saying he‘s suffering but he deserves it — not a very loving thing to say at all. But if you think about it, there is a very plain, objective point here : some suffering is caused by our own sin. Said another way, not all suffering is someone else’s fault. Before we cry out in anguish and blame everyone around us and cry God why have you forsaken me — we must ask an important question: How much of our own suffering is directly brought on by our own sin? How much of our emotional downswings are the consequence of our own doing? Let’s be clear here — we are not saying suffering is not suffering if we deserve it. What we are saying is that the Psalmist models for us here a clear picture of humility and confession and repentance — sometimes, my sin is to blame for what I am suffering today.
Psalm 38 is also called a penitential psalm as the psalmist admits his own sin is behind his trouble. Of course, not all troubles result from one’s own sins; but this psalm is geared to those that do. It is important to see this — the psalmist is not angry at God, nor is he faulting God for his predicament.
The context is also helpful. We are told that this psalm was for the memorial offering, which is the first part of the grain offering (Lev 2:2). This is basically the portion of the grain offering that the priest burns on the altar as a pleasing aroma to the LORD. When we think about this psalm in this context, we are led to think about the state of our own hearts as we come before God. As we come before God to worship Him, what is the position of our hearts when we’re not feeling it? Is our heart full of anger? Or do we come before God with a contrite heart, recognising our own sin and the suffering that comes from our own sin? Often, we may come before God and expect to lay all our burdens before Him so He can do His thing. The psalmist models for us another way, where we come before Him and adopt a contrite, humble heart.
In Psalm 38:5-14, the psalmist describes the state he is in. Let us take a closer look at how he describes his emotions and pick out things we can learn.
The psalmist’s wounds stink and fester, and he connects it to his foolishness (Ps 38:5). When we connect it to the earlier verses, we see that this is a picture of rotting and a foul smell, with no health and wellbeing. This physical affliction could be a problem that he is wrestling with. He is bowed down and prostrate, mourning all the day (Ps 38:6). He is not a man of status and affluence, but seems to be one with no pride and nothing to his name. He is utterly bowed down and mourning all day long. He has a position of helplessness and shows sheer dependence, with nothing that he can do. We are slowly building up a picture of the psalmist and the emotions that go through this depressed psalmist.
He sides are filled with burning and there is no soundness in his flesh (Ps 38:7). Pain surrounds and fills him. Again, it could refer to his physical affliction. He is also feeble and crushed and groans because of the tumult of his heart (Ps 38:8). There is a lack of peace inside his heart. Thus, it is not just an outward manifestation, but also an inner, soul-level kind of peace. There is nothing left and he is overwhelmed by everything. There seems to be an emotional and physical reality as a result of literally the noisiness of his heart.
The psalmist’s longing is before God and his sighing is not hidden from Him (Ps 38:9). This emotional state is not hidden from God! God knows! Notice how he acknowledges not only his pain and depression, but also God. Often, in our pain, we only focus on our pain and our struggle. But here, the psalmist acknowledges God. He knows that God knows everything.
The psalmist writes of a throbbing heart and light has gone from his eyes (Ps 38:10). There does not seem to be anything left in him. He does not seem to have any drive and ambition and seems spent. His friends and companions stand aloof from his plague, and his nearest kin stand far off (Ps 38:11). He is alone and lonely. He seems forsaken and abandoned. He has friends, but they have distanced themselves from him. On top of that, those who seek his life lay their snares and those who seek his hurt speak of ruin (Ps 38:12). People are after him now. His enemies seek his life and they plan to kill him.
In Psalm 38:13-14, he describes himself as a deaf and mute man. It feels like there is nothing left and can be found in this man. He seems utterly emptied out. This is a picture of a man utterly depressed. There is nothing left to for him to hear, say or do.
Why is this passage here and what can we learn? His groaning and suffering and mourning is geared towards God! It is a Godward groaning. He holds his emotion in one hand, and goes to God and presses on. There is a meditative and confessional mode to this. How do we groan? How do we mourn? Do we do it in a God-centred way that doesn’t blame Him but trusts Him? Or is our groaning self-righteous and self-centred?
Next, we see that God’s word doesn’t hide pain and suffering. It is honest and puts it in full view for us to see. There is room in Christian life for this kind of emotion and desperation. There is room in the Christian life for depression. Being depressed does not make you a bad Christian. Sometimes we mistake the joy of the Lord for what the world calls stoicism. Our identity as Christians doesn’t preclude us from feeling pain, suffering, sadness, depression. Rather, the psalmist models how we can groan and mourn in a way that remembers God and trusts in His goodness.
The Bible’s response is not for us to get over it. It does not call us to just have faith or enough faith to get out of the funk. The psalm teaches us to express our emotions. Read Psalm 38:9 again. The Bible calls us to bring our emotions to the Lord because He knows. Nothing escapes His eye. The psalmist goes to God as he is and surrenders everything to Him. Do we surrender even our emotions to our good God? Can we be weak before our almighty God? Yes. Yes we can.
This first half of Ps 38 paints for us a picture of depression. of being crushed and alone: and that’s our header - No soundness, no health, no power, no peace, no hope, no strength, no light, no friends, no kin, no agency, no drive.
What then is the Christian’s response?
(B) A Christian’s Response: Waiting, confessing, praying, obeying, hoping (Ps 38:15-22)
The psalmist waits for God (Ps 38:15). He waits confidently, because he knows who he is waiting for. It is God he is waiting for to answer! His waiting and his response is informed by his knowledge of who God is.
The psalmist’s waiting is underpinned by his knowledge of who God is. Do we feel the same way? Do we believe that? Do our actions reflect that? How do we wait for the Lord? Do we wait for Him? Are we so caught up with doing things our way, our skill, our smarts?
The psalmist also confesses (Ps 38:18). There is contriteness of heart, humility in admitting guilt, earnestness in seeking mercy, and a God-ward focus that underpins all of this. How do we respond in times of struggle and stress? Are we faster to ask for help than we are to ask for forgiveness? Is it easier for us to plead for things to go our way, or to acknowledge that we have not obeyed Him?
The psalmist prays (Ps 38:16-19). He pours out his heart to God, and voices his concerns about his real external circumstances with enemies. He confesses sin and continues to appeal to God for mercy to grant him favour against his enemies. Psalm 38:19-20 is also important here — enemies hate him wrongfully, and he follows after good. He thus entreats God to guide him in these difficult circumstances. The psalmist turns to God in prayer because he has been wronged by his enemies. He is turning to God to back him up.
Do we realize that the almighty God is the same God that we bring our prayers and petitions to? We can pour out our hearts, our anxieties, our worries, our sorrows to Him, and He knows. Our sighing is not hidden from him. Run to Him.
The psalmist obeys God (Ps 38:20). The end of his prayer and mourning is not to hide under a blanket and let the world pass him by. It is to continue to follow after good. 3 John 11 also calls us to not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Our call to follow God rightly and following after good rings true whatever our circumstance, regardless of we feel. How often do we excuse our poor and wrong behaviour with “i just didn’t feel like it” or “I’m not in the mood”? God is Holy and just, and we are to follow and obey him even when we don’t feel like it.
We’ve looked at how the Psalmist responds by waiting, by confessing, by praying and by obeying. How does he appeal to God then?
He repeatedly calls on God by His name to save him - do not forsake me, stay close to me, give me your presence, help me and help me quick (Ps 38:21-22). This psalm ends with the psalmist confessing that God is his salvation. There is no change in circumstances, but we see a continued faith in God.
Why is this so important? Friends, this is the fundamental difference between how Christians can process and deal with emotional lows. Where the world offers nothing, God offers salvation. The reason we can run to God and respond to such depressing things in patient waiting, confessing sin, praying and obeying, is simply because God is our salvation. This is the fundamental shift in worldview, and the fundamental change in the lens through which we process our emotions.
The world says to us and our emotions — yes, you have no health, no peace, no power, no strength, no light, no friends, no hope — the world says yes, wallow in despair.
God on the other hand, says yes, you might have none of that but i will save you. And He has. God sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sin. As we confess, as we come before him in repentance and with a contrite heart, we are saved. The Jesus who lived the perfect life for us was the same saviour who died on the cross for our sins that we may be saved. And do you see the reversal here? Everything we just read in this psalm, Jesus endured. Jesus bore the wrath of God, He was rebuked, He suffered separation from God, God’s heavy hand came down on Him, there was no soundness in His flesh as he suffered, there was no health in his bones as he bore our sin. But our iniquities were not too heavy for Him to handle. Where he was brought low and died, God raised Him to life and exalted Him on high. Friends, do we see this? We can respond to suffering and deep sorrow differently from the world, because we have a living hope in Jesus Christ. Because of Christ our hope, we can sing songs like “There is a hope” and mean it:
There is a hope that burns within my heart,
That gives me strength for every passing day;
A glimpse of glory now revealed in meagre part,
Yet drives all doubt away:
I stand in Christ, with sins forgiven;
And Christ in me, the hope of heaven!
My highest calling and my deepest joy,
To make His will my home.
There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Saviour there!
Through present sufferings, future’s fear,
He whispers ‘courage’ in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.
There is a hope that stands the test of time,
That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave,
To see the matchless beauty of a day divine
When I behold His face!
When sufferings cease and sorrows die,
And every longing satisfied.
Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul,
For I am truly home.
Today, there is still so much we don’t know about depression. We don’t know how the body works, how hormones work, how hundreds of factors can come together to make us depressed. But we can take heart, and cling to the things that we know and must remember — that God loves us and is for us, that we know that because he sent Christ to die on the cross for our sins, and that Christ is alive. So we have hope.
How are you when you are depressed, down, or dejected? How do you process your emotions, who are your groanings geared towards, and how does Psalm 38 affirm or challenge that?