Google “deconversion” and a whole bunch of people’s accounts of leaving Christianity will appear. One high profile former Christian leader, now “deconverted”, reads “I don’t view this moment negatively. I feel very much alive, and awake, and surprisingly hopeful.” These testimonies of faith, doubt, decision and clarity invert what we know to be the traditional testimony of conversion where someone publicly bears witness to faith in Jesus Christ: sin and doubt, decision (repentance and faith), faith and clarity. A string of high-profile examples can be found coinciding with the Trump era as a strong erosion of confidence in the Gospel’s power and the straightforwardness of the Christian life has taken hold. As one article observes, the power of this new wave of stories is not “the actual arguments themselves…[that are] so persuasive. It’s the people behind the arguments.”

Well what do we do about these people? How should we understand their “deconversions” as folks we know and love doubt, drift and decide to step away from the church and even from Christ Himself? What do we do with our sorrow and anxiousness, not to mention what do we do? This brief reflection attempts to offer some thoughts on what Scripture says about apostasy, and some considerations as we engage folks toying with doubt and departure.

Understanding conversion and faith

First, understand clearly how true saving faith in Jesus Christ works. Believers will undergo the spiritual reality of being “born again” (Jn 3:3) “according to his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:5). We have been “born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Pet 1:3) “and this is the gift of God not by works so that no one can boast” (Eph 2:8-9). However, “faith apart from works is dead” (Jas 1:26) in that “faith was active along with his works and faith as completed by his works” (Jas 1:22), showing that saving faith will also give genuine evidence of its reality by producing the fruit of a transformed life i.e., the works that follow as a result of saving faith. Moreover, Scripture clearly states that all true believers will persevere to the end by “abid[ing] in my word” (Jn 8:31) and “hold[ing] our original confidence to the end” (Heb 3:14) “if indeed you continue in the faith” (Col 1:22-23). 

Second, be painfully aware that the Scriptures speak of apostasy not as deconversion, but the exposing of a convincing counterfeit faith. The New Testament gives plenty of evidence to anticipate false conversions and those who “depart from the faith” (1 Tim 4:1), “have fallen away” (Heb 6:4-6), or “make a shipwreck of their faith” (1 Tim 1:18-20). These are also said to “have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, [and then] they are again entangled in them and overcome” (2 Pet 2:20-21) here not meaning that they believe and now do not, but their faith was never genuine to begin with. No where is this more clearly spelt out that 1 Jn 2:19 – “they went out from us, but they were not of us; for if had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.” Indeed there will be those who call Jesus “Lord” and even work wonders in His name but have never know Him (Matt 7:21-22). On the other hand, if we know Him, though we have not seen Him, we love Him (1 Pet 1:8). Thus the apostasy of a person should not imperil our faith in the truth of the Gospel, but reveal the extent to which a person may say they believe something they do not actually believe. This becomes even more difficult in a Christianized culture of “easybelievism” and seeker-sensitivity where we are so eager for people to become Christians that we unintentionally lower the spiritual bar for self-examination and giving evidence of regenerate faith and ignore Paul’s instructions to “examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves” (2 Cor 13:5). 

Third, know that some Christians prefer to walk in spiritual immaturity and are “wise in their own eyes” (Prov 3:7) and need to be shepherded humbly (1 Pet 5:2-3). They are more likely to be discipled by the world than by God’s Word, and are in need of someone to “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor 10:5) so that “Christ is formed in you” (Gal 4:19) that “we may present everyone mature in Christ” (Col 1:28). In the hope that they will turn from spiritual infancy and guided towards maturity, the apostle Paul deals with such believers at length in 1 Corinthians. He calls them “children in your thinking” (1 Cor 14:20) who have yet to be mature, who are “not yet able to receive” the solid food of teaching (1 Cor 3:2) because they are “men of flesh, as infants in Christ” (1 Cor 3:1). They are in need of “someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God” (Heb 5:12) and are like “children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming” (Eph 4:14) and “held in bondage under the elemental things of the world” (Gal 4:3).

Fourth, for all these reasons, we need prayerful dependence on the Lord Himself, and a constant awareness that though our elders watch over members’ souls (Heb 13:17) and we are to restore one another and bear each other’s burdens (Gal 6:1-2), God Himself must preserve His people. Believers in Jesus are “sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it” (Eph 1:13-14) and “those whom he justified he also glorified” (Rom 8:30) according to His own work and means. It is His voice His sheep hear, and thus they follow Him (Jn 10:27). The same Good Shepherd bears witness that it is He that gives eternal life to His sheep and “no one will snatch them out of [His] hand” (Jn 10:28) in absolute security. It is God’s own will that none of what the Father has given Jesus will be lost (Jn 6:39) and events in history unfold so that God’s Word on this front will be fulfilled (Jn 18:9), which are absolutely out of our control. Hence our confidence is that nothing and no one can separate us from His love (Rom 8:38-39), and that He will complete every good work He began in us (Phi 1:6) because “it is God who works in you” (Phi 2:13) “equip[ping] you with everything good that you may do his will” (Heb 13:21). 

How should we respond

But this confident backdrop of theological precision alone cannot equip us with the practical pastoral wisdom we need for conversations. Scripture urges to “have mercy on those who doubt” (Jud 22), fully expecting that like the apostle Thomas who entertained other possibilities and hypotheses for the resurrection of Jesus, spiritual doubt is a real struggle for some. Consider these three reflections:

First, notice spiritual drift not in a single moment of intellectual wavering but in a shift of the heart’s desire and ensuing life patterns. The temptation for many believers, especially Bible believing, theologically faithful church leaders is to assume that our spiritual drift is the result of ignorance or imprecision. We want to present accurate teaching, and correct questions, in one sense because truth is everything to us, but also because it gives us more control in solving the problem. How lovely it would be if I could solve everyone’s spiritual problems through better study and teaching! Unfortunately, the reality is that the demons too have great theology but they oppose God nonetheless (Jas 2:19). Judas was numbered with the apostles and sat at the feet of the world’s Greatest Teacher. Nonetheless, his heart was “lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death” (Jas 1:14-15). This is why above all else we must “guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” (Prov 4:23) for your heart always follows your treasure (Matt 6:21). What are our friends desiring differently other than Christ? Have they wavered in their heart’s desire since last they delighted in Him? Candidly this may be a new relationship they have begun, or a new venture they have embarked on, or a new lifestyle they are experimenting with, and intellectual justification will be sought to distance or remove the obstacle that is Christian teaching and commitment. Shifts in lifestyle and patterns in behavior, new activities that a person commits to, or networks that someone now must sustain are all evidence that a heart level change has taken place. Are they speaking differently about their hopes, dreams or fears? And if we do not detect the stabilizing influence of time in God’s Word, or a delight in the things of God, why would you imagine that the intellectual question they’ve just thrown at you is tethered in any way to a Biblical worldview or a God-honoring agenda? These are likely red herrings.

Second, recognize that doubt is a variant of faith, and that there’s no smoke without a fire. Tim Keller and others have argued persuasively that doubt should not cause us to wring our hands with panic and intellectual defensiveness. We should not imagine that just because someone has questions about the truth of Christianity that we are somehow on the back foot of needing to prove or justify anything. Rather, in calm confidence, ask questions to try and detect what has changed in the person’s worldview. Doubt is nothing more than an attempt of the mind to harmonize and integrate an apparent contradiction that has arisen in someone’s worldview. When one experiences new doubt, it’s likely because there’s been a shift in worldview, a change in value system that is typically a new act of faith. They now trust something by faith, perhaps because of who they spend time, or what they’ve been exposed to, but it’s commonly an act of faith, personal commitment made in the will. This may look like: feeling that a social position associated with political Christianity is no longer tenable or moral, or that a forbidden lifestyle or behavior that condemned by Christianity should now be regularized and accepted. Or it could be the fact that a person can no longer feasibly imagine themselves as a believer of Jesus based on what they think a believer is supposed to look like. We should not shy away from the smoke just because it’s hard to see through. Look for the root of a new faith belief that has taken hold, and engage it fairly. Invite them to see that a shift has taken place in their belief system and understand why they’ve made that commitment to is. Often, people do not realise that they now believe something different, or why they believe it. At the level of such faith commitments (i.e., self-evident, unprovable statements like: people should have the right to make and tell their own truth; self-actualisation and personal happiness is the be all and end all of human existence), we have the opportunity to invite people to consider what the Bible says differently from the world. 

Third, remember that the doctrine of sin is deeply realistic and clarifying as we speak the truth in love. Wayne Grudem’s “Systematic Theology” defines sin as “the failure to conform to the moral law of God in act, attitude or nature”. If our refusal to conform to the moral law of God goes as deep as our attitudes and very nature, then we should not expect that people are as objective, fair-minded or willing to be honest and open with us as we tell them the truth. None seek after God, and none do good; sinners are likely to deceive, blame others, and inhabit the ruin and misery of self-pity (Rom 3:11-17). This is why we need mercy for those who doubt, as Jude says, not just bigger brains. Put another way, expect that someone “doubting” may not be entirely honest with you and perhaps want to preserve and cherish their sinful desire. Sin after all, will evade and prevaricate in order to preserve itself in someone’s life. We show mercy by speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15) with both prongs in mind: God’s truth must be spoken, a truth that exposes sinful distortion and falsehood, yet with love. Borrowing from the famous description of what love looks like, we should speak the truth in a way that is patient, kind, humble, not boastful, arrogant or rude. We should not give the impression that we are insisting on our own way, or being irritable and impatient or personal offended by being resentful. That speech does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth as it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. We are of course, sinners, ministering to other sinners. And as we deal with their doubt, remember the truth of the Word spoken for us and the love of the Word slain for us. 

May the words of Jude 20–23 ring in your ears as you think about what we need to be in light of what we need to do, and the eternal consequences otherwise:

“But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.” (Jud 20-23 ESV)